lonestarphilly

Teaching a speech class is fun most days. Its amazing (and sometimes disturbing) what comes out of the mouths of 9th graders, but I’ve encountered a serious problem lately. My mentor-teacher has been absent a lot lately, and I’ve been responsible for facilitating the students’ speeches. Between the four class periods I teach, I have 9 English Language Learners (ELLs). When preparing their speeches almost all of them request to go to the ESL classroom for help, and I always allow it. But this is a speech class. A mandatory speech class. And there comes a time when they have to stand before the class and speak. Whenever I have to ask one of my ELLs to speak, I can see the devastation, fear, and insecurity in their eyes, and it breaks my heart every time.

The other students do not laugh or tease them (they know they don’t even want to try me like that), but I can only imagine how hard it must be for my ELLs to speak English in front of a room of native speakers. I’ve found myself modifying the lessons for them by lowering the time requirements and allowing them to use note cards when others cannot. I haven’t asked my mentor-teacher about this yet. I’m afraid she’ll tell me to stop, and I’m not sure if I’m actually helping or hurting these students. What I mean is, when I interact with any of my ELL students they are able to communicate clearly and effectively. They may have a few grammatical errors or stumble over a few words, but I’ve never been unable to comprehend what they’re saying, and their writing is the same. I’m afraid that by modifying the requirements I am not letting my ELLs reach their full potential by doing what I know they can do, but the guilt of making them speak in front the class just tears me apart.

Its a shame that in TEXAS of all states, my secondary teaching education failed to teach me relevant strategies for teaching ELLs. All of the diversity and education psychology classes have done me no good. This sucks. Why does this suck? Because in six months I will no longer be “student”-teaching. I will be a full-time, professional teacher responsible for the education of dozens of kids, ELLs included, and I still have so many questions about effectively teaching them. What’s going to happen when I’m teaching English Lit and the students have to read aloud or alone?… How am I going to be able to help them understand the texts?… How do I make sure that they reach their full potential without embarrassing them?… What am I going to do?

ksd

In one week the entire Mid-Atlantic has seen more snow than I’ve seen in my entire lifetime put together. Drought? I can do. 112 degree heat waves? No problem. But that much snow seems impossible to me. Maybe the Universe will do me a favor and hold off on the snow next winter. If not… this will be very interesting.

ksd

My first day student-teaching alone went great! The lesson plan for the day was really easy. I did a short lecture on job interview skills and resumes, then the kids picked their dream career and began to write their own resumes. Next week we will perform mock interviews. It was a really fun activity and it forced some of the kids to think for the first time about their future. Here are a couple of conversations I found particularly amusing:

TB: “Miss, how many years of school does it take to be a lawyer?”

Me: “About 7 or 8, it depends.”

TB: “What?! That’s longer than high school! So Miss… what could I do in, let’s say, 2 years?”

…………
EM: “Miss… Do I put my birthday on here?”

Me: “No, that’s not necessary. Employers aren’t allowed to ask you your age.”

EM: “But Miss… How will they know I’m not like 40 and too old to do anything?”

Gotta love it.

ksd

First things first… I passed both of my Praxis exams! I had a good feeling about them both but actually having the score report seemed to lift a pretty good-sized load off my shoulders. I can now focus on getting through my student-teaching until TFA decides to again inundate my life with paperwork and errands.

I don’t know what the Universe is up to but I’ve stumbled across A LOT of bad press about Philadelphia schools lately, and for the first time I can say that I got a little scared. As if racially-motivated violence weren’t enough to give me the jitters, the potential overhaul of 14 of the district’s worst schools and the job loss that will surely follow most certainly is. For the first time ever, I actually wished that I had been placed somewhere else… But I am not one to fall for regret, so that notion quickly passed. On her latest album, Alicia Keys brought to life a brilliant quote by Anais Nin, a quote so fitting for this chapter of my life that I’ve found myself listening to it over and over again:

And the day came when the risk it took to remain tightly closed in a bud, was more painful than the risk it took to bloom

(Sure Keys tweaked it a little bit, but I love it nonetheless)… The point is, everyday in 2nd period I pledge allegiance to the Texas flag (and usually with more umph than the U.S. pledge), but I am ready to leave this place. My time here is done for now. Texas has no more to offer me. So come hell or high water, job or no job, I’m going to Philadelphia and I’m going to make the best of it all.

In other news, student teaching is going great! Aside from the fact that my university is forcing all of its student-teachers to  complete an absurd amount of observations (I guess the 55 hours of observing we did last semester wasn’t enough after all) before we actually begin teaching, I love interacting with the students. Luckily, my mentor teacher gives me more freedom than I’m supposed to have at this point, and I’ve actually taught whole lessons already. Tomorrow I will be all alone for two class periods, which is against district policy, but she needs the day off and I need the practice (DADT in its truest form). I’m excited to see just how I’ll function without her in the room… you can look for that post later.

ksd

1. The University of North Texas closed today, along with several surrounding school districts, because last night the temperature fell below freezing and there was about 10 minutes of rain. By 10am all of the ice on the road had melted and it was warm enough outside for just a light jacket. All it takes to close Texas schools is 6 drops of rain and a strong wind. I don’t know how I’m going to cope with Philadelphia winters, and I’m sure their schools don’t close at the slightest sign of ice the way Texas schools do. I don’t know how to drive on ice, and I’ve only seen real snow (the kind that sticks) once in my life. Maybe a fellow corps member can give me a crash course in living in cold weather.
2. On another note, one of my good friends is in Atlanta right now on the Alternative Break Project for TFA and Phi Sigma Pi… I am so jealous! She has spent the whole week building a playground for an elementary school, talking to TFA corps members, and sitting in on their classrooms. Since I couldn’t go, she has promised to tell me every single detail of her trip, and I can’t wait.
3. I am happy to say that I am sitting in my friend’s house doing absolutely nothing. That’s right. Nothing. With my last semester of undergraduate coursework complete, I have spent the last 3 weeks studying for the PRAXIS exams. I take the PPST tomorrow, and I can say with confidence that I am prepared and I will certainly pass.
4. Next week I have my orientation for student teaching! I can’t wait to start student-teaching, and the school I am assigned to is great!
5. My best friend turned 22 today, and as I was writing in her birthday card I realized that 2010 marks 10 years that we’ve been friends. We attended the same middle school, high school, and college (we even have the same major). I know. Weird. But one of the hardest things about moving to Philadelphia will be the distance between us. She is applying to the Penn Graduate School of Education’s Higher Education program though, and I really want her to get in. It’s out of our hands, however, and God’s will shall be done (I just pray He is on my side).

ksd

If there were two things on Earth that I could hate, it would have to be errands and paperwork.

Unfortunately, as of late, these two things have dominated my life. Between working 2 jobs, final exams, final papers, matriculation paperwork, studying for the Praxis, and keeping track of my student organizations, my days are spent either looking at a computer screen or filling out an endless stack of papers.

I keep telling myself that it will all be worth it, and this I truly believe. But there is something discouraging about working all day, only to barely make a dent in your to-do list. I take the last two final exams of my undergraduate career tomorrow, and next semester I student-teach. One month after graduation I will be in Philadelphia. This is all happening so quickly, and I feel like life is passing me by.

Oh well… enough of my griping…. back to the books it is.

ksd

10 November 2009.

I will probably never forget the date. Having promised myself that I would not agonize all day, I refused to check my email or log into the Applicant Center until after 7pm. However the persistant blink of a blue star, shining now brighter than ever before from the scratched exterior of my cell phone, proved to be the victor in the battle for my sanity. For no more than five torturesome seconds I stared at my phone. This was it. I knew it.

Press EMAIL.

Press GMAIL. 

Press INBOX.

Just like that… 23 days ago at 4:49 p.m. I was invited to join the Mid-Atlantic Corp in Philadelphia. By 5:00 I had accepted.

So now I invite you to join me as I chronicle the final semester of my undergraduate career and my preparation for the biggest move of my life. Moving to a new place eventually becomes second nature to an army brat such as myself, but this time is different. I am moving 1500 miles across the country to a place I’ve never been, to connect with people I’ve never met.

Freshman year of college I was introduced to the poem Invictus. I taped that poem to my dorm mirror and read it everyday and every night. When I moved, I kept the taped and torn paper in a box which now resides beneath my bed. Tonight I think I will unearth that poem. I know I will need it in the years to come.